No, I don’t Like you.

I don’t remember when exactly the ‘Like’ function on facebook stopped being a convenient way to noncommittally bolster someone else’s e-peen without actually contributing intelligent, meaningful, or entertaining dialogue, and started being an inane way to play at free viral/word of mouth marketing, but I’m pretty sure it was fairly recently, and I’m definitely sure I’m already sick of it.

No, I won’t ‘Like’ your station’s profile, KBPI (shut up, I was helping the handyman paint my scooter and he likes to listen to horrible contemporary rock. Also – I cannot believe Willie B is still a DJ). I don’t understand why anyone would want to, for that matter. Who really wants to wear their consumer habits and preferences that proudly on their sleeve anyway? Data mining isn’t bad enough, you just want to tell internet marketers exactly where you like it?

Anyway, my point is that all of the sudden, like in the last two, three months (maybe less? I’m really bad at keeping track of time), it seems like everywhere you look, someone is suggesting you ‘Like’ them on the book. It’s just eerie to see; how quickly these sorts of practices get embraced on a massive level once they’ve been created. One month, nothing, the next, fucking Walgreens wants you to Like them. And the little Mom & Pop framing store Englewood, Colorado. And Joe Biden.

What’s the point? What do I get out of it? Don’t get me wrong, I see the appeal from the advertising end; it’s a pretty powerful way to pimp your product/service for practically nothing, but what incentive do I, the consumer, have to become your sandwich board? Fanboydom? Sorry, I reserve my fanbodyom for real-life, person-to-person interactions. Strangers don’t get to know what a dork I am.

Well, unless they read this, I guess.

Bonus: Here’s a picture of my newly re-painted ’79 Piaggio P200e

My newly re-painted Vespa P200E

I may have suffered minor paint-fume poisoning in the process of repainting my scooter. Or it may have been food poisoning. Either way, I was poisoned and couldn't get out of bed for two days afterwords. True story.

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